Presidential Bulletin: Case of Mistaken Identities (Pinoy Celebrity Look a likes)

PRESIDENTIAL BULLETIN: ADVISORY ON MISTAKEN IDENTITIES

Malacanan Palace
16 May 2009

My countrymen, this bulletin is being disseminated through the office of the press secretary to help in the identification of prominent celebrities who have been suffering from cases of mistaken identities. May this bulletin assist everyone in the proper recognition of such Filipinos.

ALESSANDRA DE ROSSI AND CONGRESSWOMAN DARLENE CUSTODIO

One is currently seen bitching at Kim Chiu, the other just bitch slapped our Pambansang Kamao Manny Pacquiao in the last elections. Both with feisty and fiery personalities.

CHARMEL (of Deal or no Deal) and VIVIAN VELEZ

Perhaps black is the favorite color of these body beautifuls. Charmel's presence in Deal or no Deal brings black, the color of bad luck in every contestant while Vivian donned the Bikining Itim in the movie of the same title.

JESSICA SOHO and FRANKLIN DRILON

Apparently, a TV show for the former Senator and the award winning broadcast journalist is in the works: KANGUSO nyo JESSICA and FRANK.

JESSA ZARAGOSA and TOUCAN SAM

It was BLACK FRIDAY, the biggest shopping day of the year. I woke up early, had my fruit loops and guess who I saw at the GUESS outlet store in Vacaville? Yup Jessa Zaragosa.

ARCHIE ALEMANIA and BEARWIN MEILY

So did Bearwin use his magical powers to clone himself with Archie Alemania. Both comedians, both bald and unmistakenly look-a-likes although I gotta give Archie the upper hand having a cutie wife.

DOMINIC OCHOA and JAKE JOSON (Manny Pacquiao's underwear carrier)

It is finally confirmed. Dominic Ochoa does not work for Manny Pacquiao. It is actually a guy named Jake Joson, one who has no official job description except for being in every picture and every camera shot of Manny that ever existed.

AIKO MELENDEZ and CONNIE SISON (news anchor)

One has moved from Jomari Yllana to Martin Jickain to..I dont know...the other has moved from ABS-CBN to GMA 7. A DNA test is what's needed to finally find out if they are true sisters.

AMANDA PAGE and MILAGRING (of wowowee)

I admit. I watch Wowowee. Why? because it is the only reminder of the girl I was, and will always be in love with: AMANDA PAGE. With Milagring around, I don't miss Amanda Page so much anymore although sometimes I wonder where is Amanda. Amanda where are you?!!!!

JOJO LASTIMOSA and YUL SERVO

I still hate Jolas for that gruesome injury that happened to Samboy Lim. Now whenever I see Yul Servo, the whole Samboy injury still flashes in my head. Samboy goes for the dunk, Jolas clips him from underneath, Samboy flips, his feet almost touching the rim then lands face first....oh my god.

RUFFA MAE QUINTO and FRANCINE PRIETO

Not only do their faces look a like but the biggest resemblance between these two are those two. Look at them quadruplets!

POKWANG and ROSITA (Pinoy Dream Academy)

To my dear yaya.....Yaya Daisy me pag asa pa kayong mag artista. Tingnan mo nga sila o. So keep on practicing on our Magic Mic. Malay mo i revive nyo yung group nina Manilyn noong araw, yung Triplets.

BUTCH FRANCISCO and JOSEPH BITANGCOL

Well, at least we have seen Joseph kiss a guy, a thing that people wonder if Butch Francisco does.

BEA ALONZO and YASMIN KURDI

Did Bea Alonzo switch to GMA? Then I realized its not her but someone who looks exactly like her! Do they both like to eat? It kinda looks like it too, although Kurdi claims she's a vegan, whatever that means.

WILLIE REVILLAME and FANNY SERRANO

If Willie likes to be called Papi...Fanny likes to call Fafas. One likes to say wowoweee, one says wiheeeeeeee

DAWN ZULUETA and NANCY CASTILIOGNE

A classic beauty and a classic case of schizophrenia? Dunno but I do like a quirky girl you know. Its kinda dangerously sexy.

JOBERT SUCALDITO and ........

My apologies. I do not intend to be mean. Really. I just could not resist it. Again to the horse, I am really sorry.

JOHN LAPUS and JOY VIADO

It's dark...you're in a bar....you're on your 8th beer...Joy or John?

MAUI TAYLOR and MAHAL

You want your 13 year old son to stop masturbating? Print this right away and post it in your son's room. Once he realizes that he might as well be Jimboy he'll tell you he'd never do it again.

BB GANDANGHARI and CARMINA VILLAROEL

My grandma always said that if two people looked a like, they would end up together. Too bad BB Gandanghari is a woman if not she would have ended up with Carmina Villaroel...OH WAIT...THEY WERE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER! DUH!

May this bulletin serve its purpose. God bless the Philippines!

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
16 May 2009