Thursday, September 24, 2009

Goodbye old friend

Malacanan Palace
23 September 2009

Today someone special said farewell to me. After 11 years of service, my trusted, hardworking 52 inch Projection TV has finally said goodbye. It has been sick for a while, it needs a nice gentle yank of the video cable for it to work, but tonight, it finally stopped what it was meant to do, provide mindless entertainment for the nourishment of my soul.


For now it sits in the same corner of my room where it has been perched for the past year, watching me as I watch him, and continues on even if I had enough of him for the night. He never wavered even if I cuss the shit out of him when my beloved Warriors are getting pummeled by an opposing team for the umpteenth time. He's just there, calm and collected when the kids around the house use him as a hiding place for their games. He never complained, nary a word.

You were never hurt nor bitter when you moved from being the centerpiece of the house to my bedroom, all you can thing about is how now you can get closer to me, putting me to bed. And for that my heart bleeds.

Who do I turn to when I am lazy to get my ass to the living room to watch TV? Yes the TV in the living room is HD, but do people even fathom how hard it is to walk to the living room at 3 in the morning? You do know Mr. 52, you know.

Your 52 inches of enormousness gave me a new dimension in watching TV programs most specially pornography. You made pornography more than just titillating but mind boggling. 52 inches of bodies banging in full color really blows the mind, and for that I thank you.

I will miss having him around, as he witnessed a lot of triumphs and failures in my life the past eleven years. Although I have 3 other television sets lying around the house, he definitely is my favorite. He was more than just an inanimate object, he was a friend.

I might have declared your death premature since there is still sound coming out of you but I have decided to let go, not to prolong your suffering. There are no doctors that can see you, unfortunately in this country there is no Mang Berting na mangagawa ng TV to come to our house and see you like how it is in the Philippines.

As I grieve your loss, one thing comes to mind: How do I give you a decent funeral? or rather how do I haul your 1000 pound ass off three flights of stairs to our complex' dumpster? Again my old friend, thanks and may the gods in electronic heaven welcome you in their kingdom.

(Sgd.) President of the Philippines

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