SUNDOT KULANGOT (quick shots on news around cyberspace)

10 December 2009

Tigas talaga ng pagmumukha ni Pangulong Kutong lupa. Biruin mong nagkaka diskusyunan na sa kongreso dahil sa katarantaduhan nitong pag dedeklara ng martial law e, ni anino nito hindi sumulpot sa kongeso? Tang ina talaga oo.

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Kung hindi nyo pa alam isa pang dating kapamilyang nananamlay ang career ang lumipat na sa syete, si Bayani Agbayani. sya daw ang ipantatapat ng gma sa papalakas na ng papalakas na showtime ni Vhong Navarro. Ang title daw e Bigay Todo (?)

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Panis si Manny ke Tiger. Si Tiger 10 bebots na ang sumusulpot, si Manny ni isa ala pang umaamin.

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Tindi ng Comelec, dalawa ng oposisyon governors ang inagawan ng pwesto. E bat si Gloria nde nyo matanggal tanggal?

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Kagandahan ke Tiger, walang pinapalampas. Bata, matanda, brunette, blonde, me suso o wala, pangit man o maganda, walang sinasayang. Parang kumakain sa buffet, lahat tinitikman. Just how I like it!

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Speaking of papalakas na Showtime, pati si Willie apektado na. Nagtampururot sa Wowowee dahil hindi daw inacknowledge ng ABS ang pagkapanalo nila sa Anak TV tapos nag segway sa pagsasabing hindi daw sila kaaway ng Showtime. Dude, ikaw tong nagbibigay kulay eh, sa pagsasalita mo kinumpirma mo na apekted ka. Sana hindi mo na lang pinansin.

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Kala ko ba Martial Law? bat buhay pa ang mga Ampatuan? Talagang wala ng magaling na nagawa itong mga asa Malacanang. Kahit sa Martial Law bokya pa rin. At least sina Marcos, perfect ang implementation!

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Oh nga pala nakita nyo ba yung anak ni Gretchen Barretto nung tumanggap ng trophy ang nanay nya bilang Best Actress whatever sa Star Awards? Whoa what a brat! She rolled her eyes and mouthed "OMG" when her mother referred to her father as "her lover." Hanapin nyo sa you tube kung meron. I mean if my kid pulled that kind of shit.......

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Mabalik tayo sa Showtime, pinapanood ko talaga to. Although I do know na kopya lang din naman to sa Talentadong Pinoy na ginaya sa Britain's Got Talent na baka gayahin di ng Bigay Todo, which makes me come to the conclusion na: WAG NA TAYONG UMASA NG INNOVATIVE PINOY SHOW in the near future. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

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I mean Anne Curtis has grown on me, I still don't think she's Megan Fox hot (who is anyway?) but she is pretty. Then Vice Ganda....what can I say, this person is hilarious. Even the two rock stars add something to the party.

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Come to think of it, 3 of those I named that could replace Willie Revillame are now in the afternoon timeslot namely Vhong Navarro, Bayani Agbayani and Ryan Agoncillo. Akalain mo nga naman ano.....

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Can someone answer why I'm still a die hard Golden State Warrior fan?

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Does anyone remember Manolet Ripol (sp?)??? Wala lang....

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Im not totally against movie stars in showbusiness BUT....if Lito Lapid still wins as a senator after he already said na hindi sya bagay sa Senado....THERE MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY GODDAMN WRONG WITH US PEOPLE.

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So hindi nagpakamatay si Hayden KHO....who the fuck cares? Why is a respected lawyer like Lorna Kapunan represents this dude? oh yeah I forgot...Dr. Vicki's money.

(Sgd.) President of the Philippines

Why Manny won't do a Tiger

3 December 2009

Unless you have been living under a rock or in a state of coma for the past week or so, you must have heard of the sportsworld's squeaky clean poster child Eldrick Woods embroiled in a extra marital brouhaha with not one, not two but three (so far) bimbos.

THEY BOTH JUST DID IT

Interestingly enough this comes on the heels of another sports supermega star, our very own Manny Pacquiao in a similar situation albeit with a much less hotter hoe than those of Tiger's conquests: Krista Ranillo.

HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON THESE??

There are a lot of similarities about the two, both are at the top of their games in their respective sports, both with hot wives (although again Tiger gets the advantage here Elin > Jinkee) both Nike endorsers, etc. etc.

But this is where the similarity ends. Tiger, although half assed went out and released a statement admitting what he termed "transgressions" and apologized to his family while Pacman goes out and denies the whole thing, calls it a publicity stunt and then apologizes to Krista Ranillo! LMFAO.

TEAM PACQUIAO

So now you ask: Why can't Manny do a Tiger? Admit that he was romping with Matt Ranillo's unica hija, apologize to his wife then go on and beat Floyd Mayweather to a pulp?

TEAM TIGER

Why? Because Manny is a Filipino guy, and a Filipino icon. Hard to admit but as a filipino guy, this is what our culture has taught us, it is innate, second nature. We might admit to killing someone, robbing even (although GMA might have something to say about that) but never ever admit to infidelity.

Magkamatayan man, wag na wag aamin. Kahit nakita ka ng nakipaghalikan (ehem!) kahit nakita na ang webpage mong punong puno ng pakikipaglampungan mo sa kalaguyo mo, (ehem again!) no way. Sad but true.

Has anyone encountered any Pinoy who admitted to their wife that they are seeing someone else? No effing way. To their drinking buddies yes, but never to their wives. That is just how it is.

Cant blame the people's champ here. I mean his dad probably has never admitted to Nanay Dionisia all his "transgressions" up to now. Daddy Pacman is still to tis day probably is saying that he has never comitted any indiscretions ever. And this is what Manny has learned to be the norm.

How many times have we heard the lame excuse "magkaibigan lang kami", or "walang masamang nangyari sa amin" or the reversal "madumi lang kasi ang isip mo"? This is what we've heard. We are taught tht nothing good comes out of admitting stuff like this. Better lie to your grave than to man up and admitting it.

Manny should think twice about this. Woods is expected to survive this, unless of course more and more women would come out in the open which would make this issue longer than its prescribed expiration date, but this will pass. The American public would forget about this. Tiger had his fun, said his apology so now everyone is going to move on.

Manny? Oh no. This is going to linger on. This will not go away. Especially now that Manny is running for congress. This Krista issue will be visited, revisited and visited again, unless Manny owns up to this.

Unlike the american sports fan, the Philippines is a whole different ball game. We want our idols to be role models, morally upright, someone who can do no wrong. Saintly, I must say. That is the dilemma facing a Filipino icon.

We revere our idols just like how we revere the saints of our Roman Catholic faith, and that my friends is the problem.

I don't think Manny would risk tarnishing his venerable (in his mind at least) image in the eyes of 90 million Filipinos. He is probably thinking that the masa would never forgive him for something like this. He might be under estimating the compassion of the masa towards him but can you blame him?

So don't expect Manny to come out with a statement written up by some lawyer just like Tiger did. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Manny will never own up to anything. Not to the guy who ponied up 59.99 for his latest pay-per-view fight, not to anyone, not even to his wife. And why should he? He can't.

Manny in the fight of his life

19 November 2009
Malacanan Palace

Morales creamed. Hatton bitch slapped. Dela Hoya embarassed. Cotto pwned. None of these bums stood a chance against Manny, all of them bowing down to the undisputed king of boxing.

But now Manny is facing the toughest fight of his life, and no it is not inside the boxing ring.

As we all know by now, the Pacman is embroiled into the kind of fight none of us would imagine ourselves to be in. The fight for marital peace.

In one corner stands Jinkee Pacquiao, the wife who stood by Manny when Manny was, well to put in frankly, isang dugyot na taga Gensan.

And in one corner stands Krista Ranillo, a fresh, young, exciting, Atenean bred bimbo who has rocked Manny's world, one who makes him giggle like a school boy.

And in the middle of it all, of course is our hero. The pound for pound king. And as always, it is our there for all of us to see.

SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH...THE HONESTY'S TOO MUCH

Honestly, this whole thing does not bother me. Yes there are kids involved, a marriage that is in shambles, and yes it could get nasty and ugly. But.....

Unlike many of you, for me MANNY PACQUIAO IS NOT A ROLE MODEL. He should'nt be. It is unfair. Not Manny, Not Kobe Bryant, or Charles Barkley or Muhammad Ali, Not Stephen Jackson, Ron Artest, not even Tim Lincecum.

Isn't it sad that the source of all our national pride is someone who brawls for a living? There is something inherently wrong when we ask our kids to look up to someone who we don't even know outside the four corners of our television screen.

That my friends is the problem. There is where the outrage is coming from, from people who are holier than thou, those who try to convince themselves and anyone within an earshot that they have never done anything wrong or immoral in their entire lives.

We are the ones that are at fault here, because we have subjected ourselves to revere someone, to elevate someone who is in fact a mere mortal to the highest of highs. We have seen this before, countless times. Someone on TV who has given us great joy disappointing us BECAUSE THAT PERSON DECIDED TO BE WHAT HE IS, HUMAN.

Manny Pacquiao should be, nothing more than an entertainer. Just like Kobe Bryant, who was accused of rape. Just like Michael Jordan, who is also not devoid of questions of marital infedelity, Just like Tim Lincecum, the 20 something baseball phenom caught with marijuana.

What bothers me about this whole brouhaha though is the role of Matt Ranillo III in all of this. I mean this is quite simply PROSTITUTION.

What kind of sick, money grubbing pimp would encourage his child to do this? I guess one like Matt huh?

As days pass, this too my friends will. Who knows how this would end. Will Krista and Manny do a Dolphy and Zsa zsa? Would Jinnkee withstand all the flurry and be the last woman standing. We don't know yet but surely I'll be there watching, because this after all is entertainment. And Manny? whatever the hell he wants to do in his life outside the boxing ring is his buisness. Inside the ring? he better beat everyone else to a pulp. For my own ENTERTAINMENT. Nothing more, nothing less. Try it, you won't be disappointed.

Manny Pacquiao - Pac man, Jinkee - Pac wife, Mommy Dionesia - Pac mom, Krista Ranillo - Pac kangkang

Should Manny lose against Cotto?

13 November 2009

Let me get a few things out of the way. I have followed Manny's boxing career since he was a 100 something pound boxer with a hideous orange/rusty/brassy highlights. I suspect he won some of his bouts early in his career because of that. I am not a betting man. I do gamble (slot machines exclusively) because I want my winnings or losings to be predicated by pure chance and not by someone or something that might influence a result.

With those said, let me lay out this question that no Filipino would ever think about: Should Manny Pacquiao lose against Miguel Cotto?

BUKAS NA!!

No I don't want him to lose.

But with that 0.0001 chance that he does, would its pros outweigh the cons?

I fucking loathe bandwagon fans. This explains my lifelong allegiance to one of the worst run franchises in NBA history, the Golden State Warriors. Even if its easy for me to switch to the Cavs, Spurs, Celtics or even worse the Lakers, I will not abandon my Warriors. Even if this team has only given me one winning year out of the last 15, I am, and will be here. That's why now that were 3 years removed from that we believe team that beat Dallas and the Warriors are back to sucking, I have seen bodies of bandwagon fans lay on the wayside, scurrying back to whatever team is favored to win the championship. Maybe if the Pacman loses, some of these bandwagon fans would get off the bus and would start pounding their chests and go I told you so, then declaring they are the best boxing analyst since Larry Merchant. Maybe if Manny fails, they'll go to Donaire instead.

So let's see... jueteng, a numbers game is illegal while betting on Pacquiao bouts are encouraged? Which is which really? We are a predominantly catholic country and as a good catholic know gambling or betting is prohibited in our religion, so why then are people turning a blind eye on this? Gambling is bad, and what makes it worse are people who barely have enough money to feed their families are usually the ones who are in the forefront of all betting activities. If Manny loses, this would be a wake up call for gamblers to stop what they are doing and go back to work.

ALING DIONISIA. I like her too, but not that much where I see her on my plasma screen every freaking second of the day of my TV time. Yeah yeah I can change the channel but cmon now can you really stand watching her every freaking second of your TV time? Manny loses, Aling Dionisia goes back to Gensan. And life as we know it returns.

I wanna see Manny box two more years. If he wins this, its inevitable he'll face Mayweather, and then who's next? You hear those crickets right now? That's right folks NOFUCKINGBODY. There's no one else out there. Remember Erik Morales folks? Manny losing to him gave us fight fans two more blockbusters. A Pacman loss guarantees a rematch with Cotto and possibly a third installment that could happen in a span of a year, plus a Mayweather blockbuster which would bring us to around 2011. A good two years, and if he also fights Mosley, that gives us about three more years and with Manny hitting 33 years of age, a perfect time to retire, before his brains get turned into puree.

Its November 13, two weeks before the filing of candidacy for the upcoming elections. Lets just say Manny wins, and he wins by a dramatic and impressive fashion. He might just be able to do what we Filipinos who truly love Manny would hate him to do, WIN IN AN ELECTION. If Lito Lapid was able to get a senate seat, who are we to judge Manny's capabilities. I used to be totally opposed to Manny being in congress or in government, but seeing all these clowns try to run our country, I'd say why the heck not Manny? But not now buddy. Wait a little bit. Retire, conquer the world, and then run for office.

See folks a Manny Pacquiao loss aint too bad. I mean win or lose, Manny still gets upwards to 20 million dollars so there's no pressure really. So just in case God decides to favor Cotto this time (as he too believes and prays to the same God Manny believes in) don't be too upset. This might just be a better option for all of us. Good luck Pacman. Win it for all of us Filipinos, but if you don't I ain't mad at ya.

Executive Order No.7: Amending Voting Rights

Malacanan Palace
06 June 2009

SUBJECT: AMENDING VOTING RIGHTS

Elections. Voting. One of the most basic rights accorded by the constitution to every citizen. Despite its importance, voting rights are the most abused, trampled, given the finger to by both candidates and the electorate.

THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE CALLED A CASH BOX INSTEAD OF A BALLOT BOX

This executive order does not constitute a revision or an amendment on that kind of election. This is a tad more important than "that" kind of election. Besides everyone is too set in their ways to change their views, traditions and ways about elections. Too change it is moot.

This executive order constitutes a change on how all citizens vote on a more important kind of voting.....INTERNET VOTING.

Lets look at some of the more blatant abuses in voting in recent history.

MS. UNIVERSE MISS PHOTOGENIC 2005-2007



Thank God the organizers of the Ms Universe pageant stopped awarding the Ms Photogenic award, after realizing how many Filipinos have access to the internet. The first year it happened was cute, but three in a row? It was not only stupid, it was downright embarrassing. Who wants this award anyway? Personally I hate it when someone tells me I look good in pictures. So what, I'm not anything to look at in person? F U then!

AMERICAN IDOL JASMINE TRIAS


CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR....

Not much of a fan of American Idol. When it first came out I said that it was just gonna be a fad, flash in a pan show. Yeah right. It is still the most watched Television show in the world for seven years or so running. Only watched it the 1st season, this last season, (because of the annoying prodding of my 10 year old daughter) and the third season, The year two Pinoys cracked the TOP 12, Camile Velasco and Jasmine Trias.

I'm not saying Jasmine can't sing. She can. But really American Idol? Listen to this.. Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Jordin Sparks, Jasmine Trias..Say it again one more time..it just doesn't sound right. A sweet Pinay girl with a flower in her head, one that looks like she goes to church every Sunday, Trias captured the heart of every Pinoy mom accross the United States, enough for her to convince all of them that she is their little niece from Hawaii. And as we all know, you get into the good graces of Nanay, you have hit paydirt. The height of the Pinoy text vote mania hit an ultimate high when my mother ordered me to use my housephone and two of my other cellphones to vote for Jasmine, regardless if she can or cannot sing. Emotional blackmail, the threat of losing inheritance. Two of the ways a Pinoy mom can prod any child to do anything she wants one to do. Fortunately, in the end, justice was served and Fantasia Barrino won. For the record though, I did like Camile Velasco a 1000x more than Jasmine.




HIMALA CNN's Best Asia-Pacific Film of All Time.


AN EXCELLENT FILM. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

Two things I have in common with Boy Abunda. We both have the same birthday (10/29), and we both like Nora Aunor. His is borderline fanaticism, mine is probably just my eternal preference for the underdog. (and truth be told Nora is the ultimate underdog.) But this does not blind me enough to vote for Himala as the Best Asia-Pacific Film of All Time. OF ALL TIME! Not the Best Philippine Movie, (which I would not argue against) but of the whole Asia Pacific Region. Besting Seven Samurai (which I saw and I must say was really moving) and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? (Oscar winner) wow!

We cannot blame this solely on Noranians who are dwindling in number, and whom I'm willing to bet half does not even own a computer or let alone use it. The blame goes to every single Filipino who seem to have this obsession to vote for every friggin online poll where there is something or someone about a Filipino.

Manny Pacquiao Time's 100 Most Influential


VERY INFLUENTIAL...IS THE GIRL UNDER THE INFLUENCE?

I do not know who the F is Christopher Poole or "Moot", Time Magazine's winner as the most influential person. With that, his selection makes this list totally insignificant. Somewhere in Armenia, someone would have said the same statement if Manny Pacquiao topped this list. see how stupid that might have sounded? Again, thank God we have criteria to thank for saving us from this potential embarrassment. Pacquiao, although getting the most number of online votes, managed to land in the 22nd spot due to other criteria which he most likely scored very poor. Again, this goes to show you that there is justice, even in the internet.

NEW SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD: UNDERGROUND RIVER


I DO HOPE THIS WINS. REALLY.

Now this is something I can support. Although I have never been to the underground river, pictures do not lie. It is breathtaking. If it does win, I will not dispute it......only if it wins FAIRLY. I mean really, what satisfaction is there if this place wins because of 8 million Filipino internet users voting ten times each? Vote once and get out, and let the place's merits speak for itself.

SARAH GERONIMO: FHM 100 SEXIEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD


YOU GUYS ARE JUST FUCKIN SICK. SICK YOU HEAR?

I enjoy Sarah. She probably is not the prettiest out there, but you gotta admit the girl is entertaining. I have only seen four Filipino films in a movie theater in the United States, and two of them are her movies: You Changed My Life and A Very Special Love. In addition, I saw these films in arguably the most dilapidated, stinky, outdated, and sticky movie house in the state of California, that AMC theatre in the back of Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco. So pretty much, my admiration of Sarah has been established.

Then this. According to this article on pep.ph, Sarah Geronimo is in the running for being the Sexiest Woman in the World. Ok, there are probably two maybe kinds of people who would vote for Sarah as sexy: A person who is required to report his change of address to authorities every time he moves and is also not allowed to live within a 5 mile radius from an elementary school, or a sex starved juvenile.

I do understand that this is from FHM Philippines, NOT FHM U.S., so I'm not too pissed about it, knowing the sick nature of Filipinos. The thing I'm worried is if someone googles the keyword FHM Sexiest and sees Sarah that person might just hurl his computer outside his window. Anyone who sees Sarah as a sex object need to see a doctor right now. You guys heard of a certain Megan Fox? Jarah Mariano?

MEGAN AND JARAH ARE BOTH PISSED....YOU WOULDNT LIKE IT IF THEY WERE...

Look, I am a red blooded male like most of the FHM readers are but sorry. I just can't wrap my head around the thought that Sarah Geronimo is one of the 100 sexiest women in the world. Not at 101, 102, 178, 235. I just can't. Probably there's something wrong with me. Probably I'm not as sick as I think I am. Who's next Charice Pempengco???!!!!

And as proved by these injustices, there is a consistent pattern of voting irregularities that has remained unchecked. Therefore, I am amending voting rights accorded to all Filipinos for the observance of fairness, restraint and common sense whenever one feels the need to vote for a compatriot in a mindless online poll. This needs to be done. Megan and Jarah told me to do so. And to their will I surrender.

As the President of the greatest country in the universe, by the power vested in me, and by the power of grayskull, I hereby declare this executive order effective immediately.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
06 June 2009

Presidential statement on the Paqcuiao beatdown of Hatton

OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON MANNY PACQUIAO'S VICTORY

MALACANAN PALACE
3 MAY, 2009

My beloved countrymen, first of all I would like to congratulate Manny Pacquiao in beating the shit out of that drunk bum we all know as Ricky Hatton. What the heck I did not even finish my plate of pansit and Hatton clocks out already? What a pansy.

Being the leader of this country I am fully aware that there is really nothing for us to cheer about, but for a few minutes during a Pacman fight, we can pretend that we matter somehow even if we have absolutely nothing to do with Manny's victory. And that performance is reason enough to hold our heads up high.

"HUMIRAM KA NG MUKHA SA ASO!!!"

This victory only goes to show that indeed steamed rice and ginisang sardinas is much better than fish and chips or whatever the hell them Brits eat to get nourishment. I have to admit though that Queen Eliabeth is the coolest woman world leader I have ever met, Simon Cowell is a God, and yes, I'm taking Tom Jones over Martin Nievera any day of the week including holidays. Other than that, Filipinos > British.

TOM JONES "PWNES" MARTIN NIEVERA

I call on all members of congress, government officials including all appointees which of whom all used government funds to watch the Pacquiao fight to make a side trip to either Spain or Mexico and never to return to the country ever.

THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL AWAITING YOU IN THESE COUNTRIES

Not to be a party pooper but let me also take this opportunity to rectify statements made by our police force about the country with a zero crime rate whenever Pacquiao has a fight. Mga kababayan, this is balderdash.

This statement is dangerous and irresponsible. the last thing I want is for people to have a false sense of security, thinking that all that is evil goes away when Manny is busy trying to reconfigure someone else's face.

For starters, piracy, a felony and punishable by fine and imprisonment, is at an all time high during Manny's fights. Millions of our countrymen go against the teachings of our catholic faith by stealing cable signals, and watching internet feeds for free. These despicable acts causes the government millions of pesos in lost revenue from legitimate businesses who pays taxes to the government.

Gambling. One that destroys the moral fiber of our country, a horrible vice and specially disastrous for those stupid enough to bet against Manny.

THANK YOU SUCKAS!!

The use of jumpers to steal electricity. Not only this is illegal, it is also dangerous. There was a report out of Tondo that a certain Agapito Dausdos fried his brains out and died yesterday from electrocution. Buti nga sa yo.

A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN

Viewing parties also encourage gluttony, (one of the seven deadly sins), "to eat and run", (not a crime per se but a deplorable act no self respective person should ever do) public intoxication, and the proliferation of PGs or patay gutoms.

YEHEY PANALO SI MANNY!!

Unfortunately my people, there is no such thing as a zero crime rate in this country of ours. There are still, and will always be kawatans amongst all of us, and sadly it is a Manny Pacquiao fight that brings all of these to the surface.

With that being said, again Manny congrats. I'm not one to talk to much on affairs I'm not involved in, or make "sipsip" to you, I'll let Governor Chavit Singson do all the sipsipan like no one can. Besides, a teenie weenie part of me was hoping you'd lose only because the more you win, the likelihood of you replacing me as President seems inevitable.

"GOV, TOTOO BANG PWIDI NA AKONG MAG PRISIDINTI?"

But in the end, the boxing fan in me was able to set personal gain aside and root for you to beat the living daylights out of Hatton. Also, who would want to ruin Nanay Dionesia's first visit to the United States? So Nanay after all the fanfare, make sure ask someone to drive you to the outlet store by the rent a car building there in Vegas before you come home to buy all those pasalubongs for everyone waiting for you in Gensan.

WELCOME TO THE ISTEYTS MOMMY! PABILI MO NA TO KE MANNY!

So again Manny, Mabuhay ka, at Mabuhay tayong lahat. Hurry home because I know millions of our kababayans are waiting for you and I'm pretty sure Sec. Lito Atienza is preparing your parade float as we speak....

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
03 May, 2009
Manila, Philippines