Dear Kris

Kris,

It's been days since your mom's funeral. Tulad ng paulit ulit ng sinasabi ng ating mga kababayan, I would like to thank you and your family for sharing your parents with us. I know it has been said countless of times but I don't think its enough. It will never be. So again, maraming salamat.

You guys made the right call when you refused that half assed state funeral offered to you. What we have witnessed was the most regal, dignified, heartwarming, and inspirational memorial service Filipinos have ever seen in history. And you Kris? you handled everything with such grace that is unparalleled by anyone. You were, to say the least, as maybe inappropriate as it sounds right now...AWESOME.

Who can do that? No one. Can you imagine the pressure of being the child of Ninoy and Cory Aquino? And you being a huge media personality at that? As I'm writing this, I can't think of anyone in the whole world who comes close in stature. JFK Jr does not even come close. Sasha and Malia Obama? Maybe if they appear on a video with Beyonce. Although however great President Obama seem to be, he's not even half the man Benigno Aquino is, and the First Lady Michelle Obama? Forget about it. Marami pa syang kakaining bigas para maikumpara kay Tita Cory. So you see Kris, you are one of a kind. Unique ka. Nag iisa.

And because of this Kris, It just dawned on me that you should be spared from any criticism or anything of that sort. You should be allowed to do whatever the heck you want at whatever time. From hereon out Kris you have your own carte blanche with the Filipino people.

Narinig ko ng sinabi mong sisikapin mong mabuhay sa paraan na maipagmamalaki ka ng iyong ina. While that's well and good, I think your setting yourself up for failure. I mean are you really going to try to live your life like how Tita Cory did hers? Over the years, I have learned to look at you and Tita Cory as two seperate entities. Of all those boo boos you've done in the past, none of them reflected on Tita Cory. At least in my eyes. So don't worry about living like your mom. Worry about living like Kris.

So Kris do what you do, the way you have done it in the past. Tell stories. Entertain us. Don't hold back. If you go in your little Willie Revillame in you where you correct someone in your TV show in a tactless manner, so be it. Ang ibig bang sabihin nito e hindi ka na mang ookray ng mga taong kaokray okray naman? No. I'm sure Tita Cory wouldn't want you to drastically change what you do just because she has passed.

If you want to do Tasya Fantasya Part 2, go right ahead. If you feel like there is another massacre movie that you need to be in, fire away. Heck, if you want to dump James Yap for some other dude, do as you please. If you want to giggle as irritating as it might sound on tv, go ahead. And if you do decide you want to try your hand in politics as well, hey good luck.

So again Kris as I've said before, do whatever the heck you want. The Philippines should be your playground. I mean I know you wouldn't do it as your parents have taught you better but YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO PAY ANOTHER MEAL IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. And that goes for Joshua too.

As a grateful citizen of this nation, I thought I would remind you of these. It's time for us to pay you back. That Carte Blanche issued to you has no limit, and has no expiration date. Use it as you please. And again thank you for that gift, the gift of your parents.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

P.S. Actually just like how you said that you lied yo your mom about you being OK, I too lied. You can do whatever you want yes, EXCEPT FOR DOING THE GILING GILING in WOWOWEE. Never again Kris, never again.

Of Tita Cory, Tayong Dalawa and John Lloyd Cruz and Ruffa

(Just taking a little break from chronicling my Manila trip.)

Malacanan Palace

First off my heart goes out to Tita Cory. One thing about Tita Cory, despite the Luisita massacre and the hiding under the bed during one of the coup d etats, unless I don't know or given undisputable evidence on the contrary, the former president didnt seem to steal money from our country, a thing none of those who followed her or preceded her can claim.

YOU'RE COOL TITA CORY. YOU'LL BE OK.

Everyone knows the story, housewife who rose to the challenge and lead the country from the dark auspices of the Marcos regime.

She is my favorite Aquino/Cojuangco, and yes that includes Kris, Baby James (is he gonna be called Baby James until he's 20?) Noynoy, Tessie, Peping, Danding, Marlou, and Benedict Aquino. Although Mikee is a close second and I do like the name "Ballsy" especially for a woman!! But in all seriousness, I do hope and pray that she gets better soon. Tita Cory, you will prevail.

MIKEE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS...HAYY....

Oh and not to be malicious or anything but (napansin lang..) Mayor Lim's presence in all of the masses for Tita Cory makes me giggle like fans of the KIMERALD love team.

FRED LOVES CORY = FREDORY?

I'm willing to bet that if Tita Cory did not become president and is not held in such high esteem, Mayor Lim would have put the moves on. Hey theres really nothing wrong with that and I bet you most Filipinos would be happy if this happens.

And speaking of KIMERALD, I have an admission to make. I do watch Tayong Dalawa. BUT TO CLARIFY, It's not like I record each episode on my DVR. Nothing crazy or anything but I do tend to sit and give a few minutes of my time watching it.

WHO IS THAT WOMAN STANDING BESIDE GERALD ANDERSON?

My problem: ITS JUST GETTING TO BE A LITTLE, NO A LOT TOO LOOOOOONG. Look, it is too long half of the original cast members have died already! Mylene Dizon, dead. Baron Geisler, dead. David Garcia Sr., dead. Stanley, dead. Helen Gamboa, dead. Even Gina Pareno is dying! How many more lives would be lost until we finally see the end of this story? I could actually get past several inconsistencies like Jake Cuenca reporting in his office when the big sign behind the desk says "HUKBONG KATIHAN" when he is supposedly serving the ARMY, but I kinda feel like we are just getting taken along for the ride.

I mean why not end it now? (actually they should have ended it when Helen Gamboa died) Then if there is a huge demand for the KIMERALD love team, just do a book two. This story is just too tangled up now and again is just too long. End it now before I just get too pissed off and quit watching it.

And now to the more important issues of the day. JOHN LLOYD CRUZ and Ruffa Gutierrez.

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO GUYS.

I dont get what the big fuss is all about. Here's a 26-27 year old guy with raging hormones trying to get with a 35 year old Ruffa, who I must admit, with a few beers is certainly a MILF. Don't get me wrong Ruffa is hot but the beers are necessary to block off all thoughts that Ruffa is the daughter of Annabelle Rama.

Look people, John Lloyd probably grew up having one of Ruffa's posters in his wall growing up. The dude is just trying to live out his fantasy. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. I mean as much as JLC would love to pop Sarah Geronimo's cherry, there is no way in God's green earth that is going to happen. Sarah is a prude and will be until the end of time. Now can you blame JLC for going the cougar route?

JOHN LLOYD IS NOT GONNA GET LUCKY WITH THIS GIRL

What kinda bothers me is there are actually paparazzi here in the United States taking pictures of the pair. I know they are public figures but are they really worth megabytes on your precious digital cameras' memory? Really? Maybe if someone paid me I would trail these two, otherwise hell nah.

Other than that, leave the two alone. I mean every dude has a fantasy of getting it on with someone older than you. I mean when I was 13, I along with other boys my age spent nights cradling images of Alice Dixon in my bed. I wanted to see Dyesebel so bad I asked our maid if she wanted to go with me to see it with her security guard boyfriend. All i could think of at that time was topless mermaids + big screen = a good nights' sleep.

So I got no problem with these two doin it. I understand. The nine year difference is nothing. If there's one May-December affair that still bothers me to this day its the Ashton-Demi hookup, aside of course from the classic Nora Aunor-John Rendez tryst years back. If John Lloyd really wants to risk his career for a chance to get it on with Ruffa by all means. One word of advice though bro, make it worthwhile. Blow your brains out.

BTW, Happy 4th of July to everyone and remember this piece of advice: To all those celebrating this special day, remember huwag magpapaputok sa LOOB. Siguraduhing sa labas. DELIKADO at baka maraming madamay. BE SAFE.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines