SUNDOT KULANGOT (quick look on news around you)

MALACANAN PALACE
31 August 2009

Judy Ann Santos and Sarah Geronimo to make a movie together.
To capitalize on the afternoon teleserye Kambal sa Uma, the title of the Juday Sarah G movie will be: Kambal sa Pisngi. Also starring Cherrie Pie Picache and Roxanne Guinoo. Charice Pempengco might do a cameo.

Kris Aquino to style brother Noynoy.
How about giving the guy a haircut first Kris? Shave that ghastly comb over already.

Show me the Manny premieres on TV.
I watched it, and its an hour of my life I won't ever get back. Fuck.

I declare everything I own - Mikey Arroyo.
Yeah uhuh, suuuuuuure.

Boobs ni Gretchen nagpupumiglas.
Let me set them free

No cheating in 2010, poll aspirants vow
Yeah uhuh, suuuuuuure.

Nadia Montenegro has no plan of managing the career of daughter Inah.
Me career?

Carlo J Caparas to run as senator.
Putang ina naman talaga oo!

Tayong Dalawa increases PMA applications
What's next? Mas dadami ang mga menor de edad na mabubuntis dahil sa Katorse?

First Gentleman, GMA must explain role. - Gordon
Asa ka pa.

Japeth Aguilar nixes PBA, plays for Smart Gilas
May PBA pa?

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

Of Tita Cory, Tayong Dalawa and John Lloyd Cruz and Ruffa

(Just taking a little break from chronicling my Manila trip.)

Malacanan Palace

First off my heart goes out to Tita Cory. One thing about Tita Cory, despite the Luisita massacre and the hiding under the bed during one of the coup d etats, unless I don't know or given undisputable evidence on the contrary, the former president didnt seem to steal money from our country, a thing none of those who followed her or preceded her can claim.

YOU'RE COOL TITA CORY. YOU'LL BE OK.

Everyone knows the story, housewife who rose to the challenge and lead the country from the dark auspices of the Marcos regime.

She is my favorite Aquino/Cojuangco, and yes that includes Kris, Baby James (is he gonna be called Baby James until he's 20?) Noynoy, Tessie, Peping, Danding, Marlou, and Benedict Aquino. Although Mikee is a close second and I do like the name "Ballsy" especially for a woman!! But in all seriousness, I do hope and pray that she gets better soon. Tita Cory, you will prevail.

MIKEE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS...HAYY....

Oh and not to be malicious or anything but (napansin lang..) Mayor Lim's presence in all of the masses for Tita Cory makes me giggle like fans of the KIMERALD love team.

FRED LOVES CORY = FREDORY?

I'm willing to bet that if Tita Cory did not become president and is not held in such high esteem, Mayor Lim would have put the moves on. Hey theres really nothing wrong with that and I bet you most Filipinos would be happy if this happens.

And speaking of KIMERALD, I have an admission to make. I do watch Tayong Dalawa. BUT TO CLARIFY, It's not like I record each episode on my DVR. Nothing crazy or anything but I do tend to sit and give a few minutes of my time watching it.

WHO IS THAT WOMAN STANDING BESIDE GERALD ANDERSON?

My problem: ITS JUST GETTING TO BE A LITTLE, NO A LOT TOO LOOOOOONG. Look, it is too long half of the original cast members have died already! Mylene Dizon, dead. Baron Geisler, dead. David Garcia Sr., dead. Stanley, dead. Helen Gamboa, dead. Even Gina Pareno is dying! How many more lives would be lost until we finally see the end of this story? I could actually get past several inconsistencies like Jake Cuenca reporting in his office when the big sign behind the desk says "HUKBONG KATIHAN" when he is supposedly serving the ARMY, but I kinda feel like we are just getting taken along for the ride.

I mean why not end it now? (actually they should have ended it when Helen Gamboa died) Then if there is a huge demand for the KIMERALD love team, just do a book two. This story is just too tangled up now and again is just too long. End it now before I just get too pissed off and quit watching it.

And now to the more important issues of the day. JOHN LLOYD CRUZ and Ruffa Gutierrez.

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO GUYS.

I dont get what the big fuss is all about. Here's a 26-27 year old guy with raging hormones trying to get with a 35 year old Ruffa, who I must admit, with a few beers is certainly a MILF. Don't get me wrong Ruffa is hot but the beers are necessary to block off all thoughts that Ruffa is the daughter of Annabelle Rama.

Look people, John Lloyd probably grew up having one of Ruffa's posters in his wall growing up. The dude is just trying to live out his fantasy. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. I mean as much as JLC would love to pop Sarah Geronimo's cherry, there is no way in God's green earth that is going to happen. Sarah is a prude and will be until the end of time. Now can you blame JLC for going the cougar route?

JOHN LLOYD IS NOT GONNA GET LUCKY WITH THIS GIRL

What kinda bothers me is there are actually paparazzi here in the United States taking pictures of the pair. I know they are public figures but are they really worth megabytes on your precious digital cameras' memory? Really? Maybe if someone paid me I would trail these two, otherwise hell nah.

Other than that, leave the two alone. I mean every dude has a fantasy of getting it on with someone older than you. I mean when I was 13, I along with other boys my age spent nights cradling images of Alice Dixon in my bed. I wanted to see Dyesebel so bad I asked our maid if she wanted to go with me to see it with her security guard boyfriend. All i could think of at that time was topless mermaids + big screen = a good nights' sleep.

So I got no problem with these two doin it. I understand. The nine year difference is nothing. If there's one May-December affair that still bothers me to this day its the Ashton-Demi hookup, aside of course from the classic Nora Aunor-John Rendez tryst years back. If John Lloyd really wants to risk his career for a chance to get it on with Ruffa by all means. One word of advice though bro, make it worthwhile. Blow your brains out.

BTW, Happy 4th of July to everyone and remember this piece of advice: To all those celebrating this special day, remember huwag magpapaputok sa LOOB. Siguraduhing sa labas. DELIKADO at baka maraming madamay. BE SAFE.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

Executive Order No.7: Amending Voting Rights

Malacanan Palace
06 June 2009

SUBJECT: AMENDING VOTING RIGHTS

Elections. Voting. One of the most basic rights accorded by the constitution to every citizen. Despite its importance, voting rights are the most abused, trampled, given the finger to by both candidates and the electorate.

THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE CALLED A CASH BOX INSTEAD OF A BALLOT BOX

This executive order does not constitute a revision or an amendment on that kind of election. This is a tad more important than "that" kind of election. Besides everyone is too set in their ways to change their views, traditions and ways about elections. Too change it is moot.

This executive order constitutes a change on how all citizens vote on a more important kind of voting.....INTERNET VOTING.

Lets look at some of the more blatant abuses in voting in recent history.

MS. UNIVERSE MISS PHOTOGENIC 2005-2007



Thank God the organizers of the Ms Universe pageant stopped awarding the Ms Photogenic award, after realizing how many Filipinos have access to the internet. The first year it happened was cute, but three in a row? It was not only stupid, it was downright embarrassing. Who wants this award anyway? Personally I hate it when someone tells me I look good in pictures. So what, I'm not anything to look at in person? F U then!

AMERICAN IDOL JASMINE TRIAS


CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR....

Not much of a fan of American Idol. When it first came out I said that it was just gonna be a fad, flash in a pan show. Yeah right. It is still the most watched Television show in the world for seven years or so running. Only watched it the 1st season, this last season, (because of the annoying prodding of my 10 year old daughter) and the third season, The year two Pinoys cracked the TOP 12, Camile Velasco and Jasmine Trias.

I'm not saying Jasmine can't sing. She can. But really American Idol? Listen to this.. Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Jordin Sparks, Jasmine Trias..Say it again one more time..it just doesn't sound right. A sweet Pinay girl with a flower in her head, one that looks like she goes to church every Sunday, Trias captured the heart of every Pinoy mom accross the United States, enough for her to convince all of them that she is their little niece from Hawaii. And as we all know, you get into the good graces of Nanay, you have hit paydirt. The height of the Pinoy text vote mania hit an ultimate high when my mother ordered me to use my housephone and two of my other cellphones to vote for Jasmine, regardless if she can or cannot sing. Emotional blackmail, the threat of losing inheritance. Two of the ways a Pinoy mom can prod any child to do anything she wants one to do. Fortunately, in the end, justice was served and Fantasia Barrino won. For the record though, I did like Camile Velasco a 1000x more than Jasmine.




HIMALA CNN's Best Asia-Pacific Film of All Time.


AN EXCELLENT FILM. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

Two things I have in common with Boy Abunda. We both have the same birthday (10/29), and we both like Nora Aunor. His is borderline fanaticism, mine is probably just my eternal preference for the underdog. (and truth be told Nora is the ultimate underdog.) But this does not blind me enough to vote for Himala as the Best Asia-Pacific Film of All Time. OF ALL TIME! Not the Best Philippine Movie, (which I would not argue against) but of the whole Asia Pacific Region. Besting Seven Samurai (which I saw and I must say was really moving) and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? (Oscar winner) wow!

We cannot blame this solely on Noranians who are dwindling in number, and whom I'm willing to bet half does not even own a computer or let alone use it. The blame goes to every single Filipino who seem to have this obsession to vote for every friggin online poll where there is something or someone about a Filipino.

Manny Pacquiao Time's 100 Most Influential


VERY INFLUENTIAL...IS THE GIRL UNDER THE INFLUENCE?

I do not know who the F is Christopher Poole or "Moot", Time Magazine's winner as the most influential person. With that, his selection makes this list totally insignificant. Somewhere in Armenia, someone would have said the same statement if Manny Pacquiao topped this list. see how stupid that might have sounded? Again, thank God we have criteria to thank for saving us from this potential embarrassment. Pacquiao, although getting the most number of online votes, managed to land in the 22nd spot due to other criteria which he most likely scored very poor. Again, this goes to show you that there is justice, even in the internet.

NEW SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD: UNDERGROUND RIVER


I DO HOPE THIS WINS. REALLY.

Now this is something I can support. Although I have never been to the underground river, pictures do not lie. It is breathtaking. If it does win, I will not dispute it......only if it wins FAIRLY. I mean really, what satisfaction is there if this place wins because of 8 million Filipino internet users voting ten times each? Vote once and get out, and let the place's merits speak for itself.

SARAH GERONIMO: FHM 100 SEXIEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD


YOU GUYS ARE JUST FUCKIN SICK. SICK YOU HEAR?

I enjoy Sarah. She probably is not the prettiest out there, but you gotta admit the girl is entertaining. I have only seen four Filipino films in a movie theater in the United States, and two of them are her movies: You Changed My Life and A Very Special Love. In addition, I saw these films in arguably the most dilapidated, stinky, outdated, and sticky movie house in the state of California, that AMC theatre in the back of Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco. So pretty much, my admiration of Sarah has been established.

Then this. According to this article on pep.ph, Sarah Geronimo is in the running for being the Sexiest Woman in the World. Ok, there are probably two maybe kinds of people who would vote for Sarah as sexy: A person who is required to report his change of address to authorities every time he moves and is also not allowed to live within a 5 mile radius from an elementary school, or a sex starved juvenile.

I do understand that this is from FHM Philippines, NOT FHM U.S., so I'm not too pissed about it, knowing the sick nature of Filipinos. The thing I'm worried is if someone googles the keyword FHM Sexiest and sees Sarah that person might just hurl his computer outside his window. Anyone who sees Sarah as a sex object need to see a doctor right now. You guys heard of a certain Megan Fox? Jarah Mariano?

MEGAN AND JARAH ARE BOTH PISSED....YOU WOULDNT LIKE IT IF THEY WERE...

Look, I am a red blooded male like most of the FHM readers are but sorry. I just can't wrap my head around the thought that Sarah Geronimo is one of the 100 sexiest women in the world. Not at 101, 102, 178, 235. I just can't. Probably there's something wrong with me. Probably I'm not as sick as I think I am. Who's next Charice Pempengco???!!!!

And as proved by these injustices, there is a consistent pattern of voting irregularities that has remained unchecked. Therefore, I am amending voting rights accorded to all Filipinos for the observance of fairness, restraint and common sense whenever one feels the need to vote for a compatriot in a mindless online poll. This needs to be done. Megan and Jarah told me to do so. And to their will I surrender.

As the President of the greatest country in the universe, by the power vested in me, and by the power of grayskull, I hereby declare this executive order effective immediately.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
06 June 2009