Breaking news: Kris Aquino nag AMOK!

15 January 2010

Kris Aquino in jealous rage, went to confront a certain Mayen Austria, a rumored girlfriend of James Yap according to a report in the Inquirer.net website.

DIDNT I TELL YOU TO DUMP JAMES?

If only Kris was as meticulous in choosing his men like her clothes, this would have never happened. Lets face it, this was a horribly matched couple from the start. A domineering, smart, popular, irritating, daughter of a former president and a cager from the boonies? Cmon now.

This was inevitable. It does not take a Madam Auring to know that this was bound to happen. Now the question is, is Kris brave enough or better yet, does Noynoy's image handlers think that Kris needs to get rid of Yap? We shall find out.

The report adds (if you were too lazy to click the link), Aquino went sugod to the house of the girl and made mura mura to the max the kabit of James. (Sorry, could'nt help it lol.) I mean what would push someone, much less like Kris who has an image to protect, to go to such lengths?

I'm not sure if there will be anymore information beyond what has been written, at least from Kris' side because I'm pretty sure they are in damage control mode as we speak but really Kris needs to get rid of James and start anew (yes for the umpteenth time.

There are a few things she could do right now.

She needs to find someone who is in the same intellectual level as her, not necessarily stature, because she has reached astronomical heights and it is impossible to find someone that can match her, at least in the Philippines.

She can just also use this to her advantage. Go out there and bash James in media, tell everyone what pushed her to do what she did. Use the abused wife card and surely, she'll get a lot of sympathy, and as we all know by now, sympathy=votes.

So Kris, do the right team and get rid of some dead weight. Go dump James and put him back to the Mcdonald's playpen you got him from.

SUNDOT KULANGOT (quick look on news around you)

MALACANAN PALACE
31 August 2009

Judy Ann Santos and Sarah Geronimo to make a movie together.
To capitalize on the afternoon teleserye Kambal sa Uma, the title of the Juday Sarah G movie will be: Kambal sa Pisngi. Also starring Cherrie Pie Picache and Roxanne Guinoo. Charice Pempengco might do a cameo.

Kris Aquino to style brother Noynoy.
How about giving the guy a haircut first Kris? Shave that ghastly comb over already.

Show me the Manny premieres on TV.
I watched it, and its an hour of my life I won't ever get back. Fuck.

I declare everything I own - Mikey Arroyo.
Yeah uhuh, suuuuuuure.

Boobs ni Gretchen nagpupumiglas.
Let me set them free

No cheating in 2010, poll aspirants vow
Yeah uhuh, suuuuuuure.

Nadia Montenegro has no plan of managing the career of daughter Inah.
Me career?

Carlo J Caparas to run as senator.
Putang ina naman talaga oo!

Tayong Dalawa increases PMA applications
What's next? Mas dadami ang mga menor de edad na mabubuntis dahil sa Katorse?

First Gentleman, GMA must explain role. - Gordon
Asa ka pa.

Japeth Aguilar nixes PBA, plays for Smart Gilas
May PBA pa?

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

Dear Kris

Kris,

It's been days since your mom's funeral. Tulad ng paulit ulit ng sinasabi ng ating mga kababayan, I would like to thank you and your family for sharing your parents with us. I know it has been said countless of times but I don't think its enough. It will never be. So again, maraming salamat.

You guys made the right call when you refused that half assed state funeral offered to you. What we have witnessed was the most regal, dignified, heartwarming, and inspirational memorial service Filipinos have ever seen in history. And you Kris? you handled everything with such grace that is unparalleled by anyone. You were, to say the least, as maybe inappropriate as it sounds right now...AWESOME.

Who can do that? No one. Can you imagine the pressure of being the child of Ninoy and Cory Aquino? And you being a huge media personality at that? As I'm writing this, I can't think of anyone in the whole world who comes close in stature. JFK Jr does not even come close. Sasha and Malia Obama? Maybe if they appear on a video with Beyonce. Although however great President Obama seem to be, he's not even half the man Benigno Aquino is, and the First Lady Michelle Obama? Forget about it. Marami pa syang kakaining bigas para maikumpara kay Tita Cory. So you see Kris, you are one of a kind. Unique ka. Nag iisa.

And because of this Kris, It just dawned on me that you should be spared from any criticism or anything of that sort. You should be allowed to do whatever the heck you want at whatever time. From hereon out Kris you have your own carte blanche with the Filipino people.

Narinig ko ng sinabi mong sisikapin mong mabuhay sa paraan na maipagmamalaki ka ng iyong ina. While that's well and good, I think your setting yourself up for failure. I mean are you really going to try to live your life like how Tita Cory did hers? Over the years, I have learned to look at you and Tita Cory as two seperate entities. Of all those boo boos you've done in the past, none of them reflected on Tita Cory. At least in my eyes. So don't worry about living like your mom. Worry about living like Kris.

So Kris do what you do, the way you have done it in the past. Tell stories. Entertain us. Don't hold back. If you go in your little Willie Revillame in you where you correct someone in your TV show in a tactless manner, so be it. Ang ibig bang sabihin nito e hindi ka na mang ookray ng mga taong kaokray okray naman? No. I'm sure Tita Cory wouldn't want you to drastically change what you do just because she has passed.

If you want to do Tasya Fantasya Part 2, go right ahead. If you feel like there is another massacre movie that you need to be in, fire away. Heck, if you want to dump James Yap for some other dude, do as you please. If you want to giggle as irritating as it might sound on tv, go ahead. And if you do decide you want to try your hand in politics as well, hey good luck.

So again Kris as I've said before, do whatever the heck you want. The Philippines should be your playground. I mean I know you wouldn't do it as your parents have taught you better but YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO PAY ANOTHER MEAL IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. And that goes for Joshua too.

As a grateful citizen of this nation, I thought I would remind you of these. It's time for us to pay you back. That Carte Blanche issued to you has no limit, and has no expiration date. Use it as you please. And again thank you for that gift, the gift of your parents.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

P.S. Actually just like how you said that you lied yo your mom about you being OK, I too lied. You can do whatever you want yes, EXCEPT FOR DOING THE GILING GILING in WOWOWEE. Never again Kris, never again.