Executive Order 7: Abolition of Field Demonstration in Schools

Malacanan Palace
17 July 2009

SUBJECT: Abolition of Field Demonstrations in Schools.

WHEREAS, Field demonstrations are always the centerpiece of every foundation day disregarding the fact that this activity is nothing but torture and is borderline exploitative of young children.

WHEREAS, More often than not, songs used for this exercise are of the lamest and the gayest kind such as Rico Mambo and any Madonna or Michael Jackson song in the 80s, Cant Touch this or New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys in the 90s and 00's and now the equally annoying Jai Ho of the past year or two.

WHEREAS, Field demonstrations serves no purpose whatsoever and only states the obvious. The only ones who enjoy prancing under 100 degree heat in ridiculous costumes are confused or already GAY.

THIRD KID. DEFINITELY GAY

WHEREAS, Generations upon generations of school children have been suffering from the embarrassment that is field demonstrations causing long lasting emotional trauma.

WHEREAS, Contrary to what people think, field demos are NOT cute, plain and simple and has no place in a civilized society.

Educators and school administrators who will be found guilty of disregarding this order will be subject to the same humiliation our kids are subjected to. Then probably they will finally understand WTF they are asking kids to do.

As the President of the greatest country in the universe, by the power vested in me, and by the power of grayskull, I hereby declare this executive order effective immediately.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
26 August 2009