Saturday, July 25, 2009

Move over Freddie, Jason and Chucky... Esther is here.

25 July 2009
Malacanan Palace

Ampon! Ampon! Ampon! Remember when you were six or eight years old and that mean kid from a few houses down would call you that whenever you would pass by their house in your bicycle? What did you do? Some of you probably told your parents, some yelled something back at them, but I bet none of you would push the mean kid off a jungle gym causing the kid to be crippled right? Well not Esther....cause unlike you and me there is something fucking wrong with her.


The movie Orphan which stars Peter Saarsgard and Isabella Fuhrman as Esther is a freaky, scary, sickening and riotous family drama/horror movie if there ever is one. John and Kate (without eight) are a couple trying to adopt after Kate's miscarriage. They meet Esther, an articulate, charming, artistic, well mannered freckle faced nine year old in an orphanage alone painting away while singing glory of love. They talk to Esther, fall in love with her, take her home and all hell breaks loose.

The movie starts off kinda slow, taking its time to introduce you to the whole family, showing us why they act a certain way and their demons that justifies their actions throughout the movie. We find out that Kate is a recovering alcoholic who besides losing her baby, also nearly lost her deaf daughter Max (played beautifully by Aryana Engineer) who nearly drowned in the lake while she was under the influence. The first part also tells us about John's past indiscretion and how much of a stranger he is in his own house which makes him utterly clueless on what is going on with his family. This crack in this family's relationship is what Esther attacks, and she attacks it with horrific impunity.

Watching this movie makes you feel like someone is holding your hand, making you feel safe and when your just feeling a little comfortable goes ahead and shoves you in a cold dark place, with no way out. No matter how hard I try to intellectualize this review, the movie is pure fun. It does not offend your intelligence that much, (it is a horror movie after all and not a historical depiction of an event.) I mean after everything has unravelled you realize that it is all ridiculous but then you also realize you had fun watching it so everything else about it and its ridiculousness becomes passable.

I wouldn't tell you to drop whatever your doing right now and go watch it, but if you have 10 bucks to spare and around two hours, why not treat yourself and someone to a movie. Just do not bring your kid. The movie is scary, but there are scenes here that are REALLY SCARY.

This movie gets 3 out of 5 presidential seals.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines

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