Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Conferment of the Order of Sikatuna on Ronnie Ricketts

20 MAY 2009


WHEREAS, This Conferment of the Order of Sikatuna with Rank of Datu is presented to Ronnie Ricketts, also known by the spine-tingling nickname "Rocketts" for being the single most influential, powerful and intimidating Filipino of all time.

WHEREAS, This recognition is given to Ronn-Rick due to the following indisputable facts and my fear of him.
  • Manny Pacquiao DID NOT knock Ricky Hatton out. Hatton knew Ronnie Ricketts bet on Manny so he decided not to answer the bell.
  • Manny Pacquiao FEARS Ronnie Ricketts.
  • PAG ASA is waiting for a typhoon signal No.6 to name it after Ronnie Ricketts
  • Jose Maria Sison exiled in the Netherlands because of Ronnie Ricketts.
  • Ronnie Ricketts eats pork with swine flu.
  • Alec Baldwin will apologize to Filipinos because of Ronnie Ricketts.
  • "Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan...sisipain ni Ronnie Ricketts."
  • "Bato bato sa langit ang tamaan wag magagalit...kasi si Ronnie Ricketts ang bumato"
  • The disease ricketts was named after Ronnie Ricketts
  • Mt Pinatubo has been dormant since Ronnie Ricketts yelled at it.
  • "Nasa tao ang gawa, na kay Ronnie Ricketts ang awa"
  • Ronnie Ricketts uses arnis to swat flies
  • Ronnie Ricketts uses arnis to kill people in a more humane way, his fists are just way too hard.
  • When playing basketball, Ronnie dunks the ball by using his feet.
  • Nardong Putik used to be stone, he turned into mud after Ronnie Ricketts punched him in the face.
  • "Lahat ng gubat, may ahas, pwera na lang kung malapit sa bahay ni Ronnie Ricketts"
  • Ronnie Ricketts does not use toothpicks, he uses a balisong
  • Ronnie Ricketts performed his own appendectomy.
  • Mariang Makiling has a crush on Ronnie Ricketts.
  • In one Lenten Season, Ronnie Ricketts tried to nail himself on the cross but failed. The nail melted in his presence.
  • Ronnie Ricketts does not use mouthwash, he uses muriatic acid.
  • The Hukbalahap was not stopped by Ramon Magsaysay. It was Ronnie Ricketts.
  • Ronnie Ricketts uses a chainsaw to clip his nails.
  • Ronnie Ricketts plays syato using his arnis.
  • Ronnie Ricketts uses siling labuyo to clean his eyes.
  • All aswangs moved to Capiz because of Ronnie Ricketts.
It is of great honor and fear that I, the President of the greatest country in the universe, by the powers vested in me, and by the power of grayskull do confer the Order of Sikatuna on Ronnie Ricketts.

(Sgd.) H.E. President of the Philippines
20 May 2009


  1. Puede bang sumali?

    Pag summer telephone directory ang ginagamit ni Ronnie Ricketts na pamaypay. hehehehe

  2. kuya ronnie!! ang ganda ng mga penikula nyo!! miz po namin yong mga show,,, sana bumalik kapa sa show business... lalo na sa ikaw lang,,, ni vilma santos super hit. siguro nun.. dati.. khit ngayon nahanga pa ako sa dati mong show.. hope n bumailik ka sa show business... thanks... albert ng paraƱaque